QUESTION: Why did the chicken cross the road?
An exercise in creative writing
Originally posted in : CREWRT,
Creative Writing in Education for Teachers and Students
- "Because of an essential lack in its being."
- "It was an unconscious drive."
- "The chicken was exploring potential space."
- Because it had an innate road-crossing capacity (IRCC).
- Because it was getting out of work.
- Because the road was in unstable equilibrium.
- Why did the frog leap in?
- For the greater good.
- It was a historical inevitability.
- So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a
chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but
also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with
such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely
chicken's dominion maintained.
- Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its
- Any number of contending discourses may be discovered
within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is
equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because
structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!
Thomas de Torquemada
- Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find
- Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would
let it take.
- Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes
also across you.
- Because the external influences which had pervaded its
sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it
would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of
its own free will.
- The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated
that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and
therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.
- In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the
chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
- The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the
objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came into being which
caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.
- Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed
the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
- To actualize its potential.
- If you meet the chicken on the road, kill it.
- It may very well have been one of the most astonishing
events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian
biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly
relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.
- The Fish.
- It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
- Because it could not stop for death.
- For fun.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
- It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
Johann Friedrich von Goethe
- The eternal hen-principle made it do it.
- To die. In the rain.
- We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was
on, but it was moving very fast.
- Out of custom and habit.
- 'Cause it fucking wanted to. That's the fucking
Pyrrho the Skeptic
- What road?
- You tell me.
- If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too fool!
Henry David Thoreau
- To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out
- The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
- It was a hen!
Zeno of Elea
- To prove it could never reach the other side.
- Because all of Islam wanted to kill it.
- For an old bitch gone in the teeth, for a botched
- To lead you to an overwhelming question.
- The chicken took the road less traveled by.
And that has made all the difference.
- Why not?
- It was stapled to the baby.